Coming home from the training, I realized that i also have a lot of shortcomings to my family; i tend to focus on the faults and weaknesses of my children and husband. Now I realize, also have to change for the better.
Before, we used to harass Mama whenever she goes out for an activity. Now, we understand why it is important for her to participate in the community.
It is important to own your feelings and accept yourself with both your positive and negative qualities, and be able to go beyond.
It only occurred to me that sharing my woundedness and triumphs can become the source of inspiration and learning for others.
Our trainigns is like a renewal for ma as a parent–it makes me reflect my good and not so good practices.
I feel both happy and sad because I get to heartaches and concerns of the elderly.
These are but a few of the insights that participants of the Pamilyang Lingkod Katiwala ng Roxas shared after the two-day module on Basic Orientation Seminar on the Care and Nurture of Missional Families and Spirituality of Parenting.
The first activity, Parenting the Inner Child was facilitated by Mr. Jungie Galapon by guiding the participants to a few minutes of silent visualization of their early childhood memories especially of their relationships with siblings and parents.They were then made to articulate qualities of their mothers and fathers that they liked most. The end of the activity was the presentation of the participants’ drawings that symbolize their families.
This activity allowed the participants to recall the parenting styles of their guardians and how these have eventually influenced their own families. This also emphasized parenting as a vocation and how parents are like pilots who could maneuver their planes regardless of their experiences and learned habits.
The day continued with an exercise on the types of parents (authoritarian, neglectful, permissive and democratic) and on Mensaheng Ikaw at Mensaheng Ako. On the second topic, a couple of participants were made to role play their communication patterns at home which either focus on the behavior and feelings of the communicator or on the judgment and accusation on the other. A mother and daughter tandem enjoyably exemplified a natural scenario in their household.
The last part of the day was a presentation by Sr. Frances Mangabat, SDS of the Pastoral Letter on Family by the CBCP in July 1999 and a discussion on the family values and traditions that are still present or are no longer being practiced. Some of the much valued are the show of respect (pagmamano at “po, opo”, use of kuya, ate), being together during meal time, prayer time and on special occasions. However, they also feel that religious practices and even eating together are practices that are slowly fading.
This and additional discussions on the issues in Barangay Roxas, especially on the youth mindlessly staying in the streets until the wee hours were concerns of the participants. There were different opinions on why they behave as such: parenting styles, inconducive home spaces, external factors, but all these point to their concern for the young in their community, indicating what the PLKR project aims to achieve — to have families who are lingkod katiwala of the community of Roxas.